It must be said

Justin Timberlake's new song is the shit.
So is the video.
There is nothing like a sexy white boy that can dance.
Dayumm Justin.

WTF happened to Jessica Simpson????

I used to like Jessica Simpson.
It was before Newlyweds.
I used to feel bad for her because the girl can sing waaaaaay better than Britney though not as well as Christina. She was in the middle and she kind of fell in with the Mandy Moore, Willa Ford crowd of blonde singers.
Then came Newlyweds and she became a super star.
But, this post isn't about her fame, singing or acting.
My question is what the fuck happened to her face???
I used to think Jessica was a gorgeous girl. Granted she had some nips and tucks, but she was really really pretty. You know that makes you sick to your stomach type of pretty.
Well, not any more.
What we have here is a lesson folks. Hollywood destroys people.
It makes people turn themselves into monsters.
Let's start from the beginning.

This is the cute trying to make it, young Jess.
Very pretty.


Jess got her nose done and is trying to sex it up more to get some attention.


I think Jessica looks great here. Newlyweds was a hit, so was her album.



Gorgeous.


Then, she hoe-ed it up for that horrible video for These Boots were made for walkin from Dukes of Hazzard


Broke up with Nick and then got her lips done which was a disaster not to mention unnecessary


Started partying and looking coked-out



And I'll cut it short because I could keep going but this:

completely fucking ridiculous!!!!
Note the over done lips, the bad extensions, the botox frozen face, the deer in headlights coked out expression.
What the fuck happened to this girl????
Hollywood. Clearly the land of illusions if Jessica thinks all her nips and tucks were an improvement.

Pay attention all you hard working fashion students LC is the reason you work at JC Penny

The Hills.
I promised myself I wouldn't get sucked in.
After the shame that came with my obsession with Laguna Beach and 8th and Ocean I thought I had kicked the habit.
But alas I sit. I watch. I seethe. I envy. I hate.
For those fortunate individuals who haven't succumbed to that irrestible temptation to watch mindless drivel I'll provide a recap.
The Hills is a Laguna Beach spinoff - hold on a sec -Lord God in heaven what is the world coming to and what's wrong with my life that I actually watch this mindless scripted bullshit that MTV tries to pass off as reality and feel envious and angry because I wasn't born rich and I have to work for everything in my life while less deserving people get everything they want and then some. Why God WHYYYYYYYYY. I shout - back to the recap
Ok - the Hills is a Laguna Beach spinoff that follows two of these chicks:




It's supposed to chronicle their days trying to make it in the real world.
You know how hard it is. Struggling to eat let alone pay all your bills. Working horrible jobs that get you no where. This would probably be a good time to mention that this is all complete bullshit. They're all rich and I'm sure that those MTV cameras had absolutely nothing to do with LC getting an internship at Teen Vogue.
The most recent episode pushed me over the edge and forced me to blog on the show because it's that ridiculous.

The show follows LC (pictured below) as she struggles to make it in "The Hills" i.e. The Hollywood Hills.


She grew up in Laguna Beach, Ca. She was the narrator of the first season of Laguna Beach.
He parents are very rich and she's going to FIT ( I think that's the school) in Cali.
She lives in an unbelievable DUPLEX, goes to fashion school and works as an intern at Teen Vogue. I don't think any of those things bring a check in every two weeks so, you draw your own conclusion.

She lives with this chick. Heidi


I don't know who Heidi is. All I know is Heidi was in fashion school too, but she dropped out because . . . umm she wanted to. She lives with Lauren and is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I'm sure she also has rich parents. Never worked hard for anything.
She ended up with a great job working for LA party planning extrodinaire Brent Bolthouse somehow (cough MTV cough cough).


The main reason I was disgusted beyond belief with this show other than the obvious (you know it really brings home the notion that life isn't fair and it isn't what you know it's who you know)
is in the season finale LC was offered the chance to work at Vogue in Paris and TURNED IT DOWN to spend the summer with her dumb coke-head boyfriend who she isn't even with anymore if all the internet gossip is true.
She turned it down.
I'm sure some poor talented fashion student just jumped off a bridge.
That's what it's like to be rich and have options I guess.
You get to spit on things that someone else would give their right arm to have and will never probably get close to.
So, all you future Donna Karen's out there you'd better apply at your local J.C. Penny because unless you have connections or an MTV camera crew you're not going anywhere else.

Saggy Titties are never cute ladies.

Thank God this summer is winding down.
It gets hot out and people lose their damn minds.
And by people, I'm referring to that large group of individuals who shed their clothes as soon as the temp hits 80 degrees no matter what their bodies look like.
Apparently, lots of bras were left in drawers, in closets on floors or where ever because they certainly weren't holding up all the saggy breasts that I was unfortunate enough to see.
Was there some anti bra revolution that I was unaware of???
Ladies, ladies, ladies please stop.
I saw a middle ages woman whose breasts were slapping against her knees yesterday. I almost gagged.
Saggy titties never equal cute. EVER.
I mean do guys actually like this look and I'm just hopelessly unaware???

Trainwreck Alert

Did anyone happen to catch DMX's reality show on BET last night???
Well I did. And if you haven't watched it you need to program it into your tivo.
The man is a full out unabashed crack head. And it's actually kind of sad.

I can't take it anymore

I am sooooooo sick of this bitch.
I have tried (hard mind you) not to jump on the I hate Beyonce because I'm Jealous but like to pretend that I'm not train, but damn. I am truly sick of the sight of her face. My GOD hasn't anyone ever heard of oversaturation??? She has that new God-awful song out. She has a new album coming out. Dreamgirls comes out in December. So there is going to be non - stop Beyonce for the rest of this calendar year. God help us. I don't get this chick. Honestly I don't. Ok, I'll admit I liked Destiny's Child in the pre-drama The Writings on the Wall days. But damn. That was their only good album. Survivor SUCKED donkey ass. Destiny Fulfilled was garbage. I've never even given Dangerously in Love a real listen. She has about as much personality as a head of lettuce. She CAN NOT ACT worth a damn. And since she's taken to wailing through songs my opinion of her singing has plummeted.

I am just sick of her. Sick of her name. Sick of her voice. Sick of hearing people rave about her curves and her talent. Sick of hearing how she wishes she was taken more seriously as an artist. Sick of it all. Some one should tell her that old adage - Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sit down bitch!!!

Damn, Damn, Daaaayum!!!!

It's one of those days again.
I'm at work. Bored. Sleepy. And sore as hell from working out yesterday.
I'm convinced squats used to be a form of medievil torture. I can barely sit on a toilet let alone take a few steps without wincing in pain. Horrible.
I'm going back today for more torture. The party is over it's time for me to get my ass together.
Literally my ass. Thus the squats. I've decided that I'm going to be in the best shape of my life before I turn 30. That's only two years away so I've decided to start now.
I'm doing three count lunges today God help me.